Today marks two weeks since our little one joined us. Looking back, two weeks went by in a flash! With all the happiness that a baby brings along, I must say that for me it’s been a struggle at times.
From an extra, mega, long labour (contrary to what one thinks, the second time was not easier for me), to the painful and irritating stitches, to exhaustion, which you never manage to resolve due to a gassy and uncomfortable baby who finds it difficult to sleep.
You need to be there for your baby and for your first-born. Immediately, after three days from delivery, you wake up at 6am to help your three and a half year-old get dressed and prepared for school in order not to make her feel excluded and then be available for play when she’s back home, while still dealing with all the tiredness and pain. Then insecurities start to kick in, whether I can do this, whether I’m neglecting my first born in any way due to a demanding baby, whether I’m going to pass out soon due to being overly tired.
Tears start to roll and actually you don’t even know why.
I am not complaining. We’re blessed and couldn’t have been better supported by the ones who are near us. But people at times forget the reality of the changes a newborn brings in a family, which aren’t always the happiest. It’s hard to acknowledge these and many times I find myself saying that all is well instead of speaking the truth. Maybe not to put anyone in an uncomfortable situation, or most probably because it’s hard to admit that I need help at times, and that it’s okay to ask for it and receive it.
My suggestion for new (or not so new) mummies: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES!
And to family members and friends, please do not forget all the hard emotions she and her husband or partner might be going through. Please don’t try to minimise her pain by highlighting other people’s worse situations. It will make them feel even worse.
In the end, I wish to thank the good Lord for being always there through our journey. We’re blessed in many many ways and transitioning to the new situation was even easier for our three and a half year-old than for ourselves. That surely was one of our pluses. Actually it was a very traumatic change for the cat, who has only been with us for a couple of months! Poor thing!
In the meantime we look forward to new adventures and challenges to conquer together.
About the Author:
Tiziana Farrell graduated from the University of Malta in Social Work and has worked as a social worker for 10 years. Currently she is a stay-at-home mum, taking care of her newborn and almost four-year-old girl. She is very interested in reading, discussing and learning about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting. Follow Tiziana on her blog Mum 4 Real on Facebook.